My "Why"

Since we're still getting acquainted here I have to admit that I feel a little silly wanting to tell you my life story. You know I'm 20-something, you know I dig working out and you know that I'm a fan of sweaty selfies. While those things are great, entertaining and blog-worthy - there's much more to the girl behind the blog and her "why". 

If you don't know what I mean, the 'why' is the driving factor behind why one does anything. The reason you are who you are, why certain parts of your life are priorities over others and the difference between goal setting and blowing your own damn mind over and over.

There's three main points of focus to this blog - Fitness, Nutrition and Personal Balance, all of which are my top priorities in my life right now and I'd like to tell you why.

Why Fitness?

As an athlete* (if you have a body, you are an athlete according to Nike), competition and sport have always been critical pieces of my life. From idolizing strong female role models as a child to trying to become a strong female role model in my adulthood - there's been so much value in the opportunities I've earned through sport. 

Sport has given me confidence, sport has given me a voice, sport has made me outgoing and sport has allowed me to form my own identity. It's given me the tools of organization, goal setting, time-management, focus, determination and tenacity. It's formed me, shaped me, given me countless opportunities to improve and grow - both personally and professionally. 

And while I don't consider my fitness in today's world to be "sport" anymore, the principals and foundation are the same. I still gain discipline, organization, confidence, focus and triumph. I still challenge the boundaries that I (and only I) have put up for myself. 

I've seen what sport has done for me and I want to see it change your life too. 

Why Nutrition?

It saddens me to admit that I've never had a comfortable relationship with food - that is until the past six months. Food has always meant calories and calories always meant weight and weight always meant having to find a way to hide myself behind my clothes. I've always loved winter, because to me layers meant a shield that I could hide behind. You have no idea how thrilled I was to see maxi dresses/skirts become a trend because I finally had something to wear to summer bbq's and on 4th of July. It was difficult to come up with a new excuse for why I was wearing pants and a cardigan when it was 90 degrees out and I was clearly sweating. 

I think it's safe to admit here that I am not once, not twice - but a three time recovering anorexic. 

The first time I was the new girl at a preppy high school trying to fit in. The second time I was coping with a softball career-altering injury and struggled with the idea of not being able to work out. The third time was me trying to cope with debilitating insecurity and loss of my personal identity my Junior year of college.

There will be no fourth time. 

I've always known since coming out of the third time that I wouldn't go back to starvation. What really changed the maybe-never into absolutely-never was seeing the way that Paleo has changed my life. I put more food on my plate than ever before in my life and I'm losing weight. Why? Because I'm eating good food, healthy food, the right food that my body has been craving all of my life. 

If I had the chance, I'd go smack 15, 17 and 20 year old me in the face three times over just to get her to understand that her relationship with food doesn't have to be a bad one. If she would have understood this earlier in her life, I think that her world would have been so much different. The beautiful thing is that the world she could have had is still out there. It's a bright world and there's so much more.

Did you notice how the body image piece is addressed in the nutrition section rather than the fitness section? Yeah - that's because that's where it belongs. Eat well and your body will thank you. 

Why Balance?

This last one is easy. I've never been very patient, I've never been good at handling all of the pressure (that only I have put on myself) and I'm always out 'chasing' after something. Whether it was trying to be the smartest student, the best pitcher, the most clever or the wittiest & prettiest - I've never found satisfaction in the things that I've already accomplished. 

I've never found great ways to build success on top of success because each new goal I try to pursue I feel like I'm starting over. 

The word 'balance' means many things to me. It means being able to fall asleep at night in the dark silence and be beaming with peace and happiness. It means having a 'someday' vision of being present for my children and my family to be the best mother I could ever hope to be. It means setting myself up with attainable and realistic goals - goals that push me closer to my passions, not just what society's goals are for me.

Balance is bliss.

Thanks for letting me share, it's important that you know the girl behind the blog if you're going to take this journey with me.